A stay abroad often makes them more vulnerable. Whether you are a student or expatriate, travel is a good time for a meeting. They seem more frequent among European men and Japanese women. That may be because Japan Atira rather French men, and Europe is rather appeal to Japanese women. Perhaps also that European men and Japanese women, accustomed to the active role of the courtship, will more easily initiative. It seems in any case that the early stories easier abroad. The charm of the unknown, the interest to discover even the most insignificant details of daily life in the country, often a journey that has been idealized before departure, and it must be said, less acute in estimate the beauty of a person of another "color" makes it all the blindness in love even more intense than in a normal relationship. However, if the beginnings are often easier, married life abroad is not easy to organize. This article brings together some modest advice.
Respect
Each couple requires mutual respect. But here, the temptation is to establish a hierarchy between the two countries: the French are inclined to despise the Japanese cities of chaotic planning, hard work at times ineffective, and the peculiarities of Japanese policy. The Japanese look down on the trains in France strike, dog droppings, and the waiter who does not smile. These behaviors are often very dangerous in a couple, even if one is aware of the limits of his country, we do not receive lessons from a étranger. Et toute tentative de mettre une hiérarchie entre les deux pays sera vite vue comme la volonté de mettre la même hiérarchie dans le couple. Il convient en particulier d’être très prudent sur les informations que l’on recueille sur le pays de son conjoint dans les forums internets, blogs, et sites spécialités pour les expatriés : il existe, en particulier sur les sites occidentaux, des interprétations discutables de la vie au Japon, avec souvent des raccourcis très hatifs. Certains faits divers rares sont parfois interprêtés comme des évènements normaux.
Each couple requires mutual respect. But here, the temptation is to establish a hierarchy between the two countries: the French are inclined to despise the Japanese cities of chaotic planning, hard work at times ineffective, and the peculiarities of Japanese policy. The Japanese look down on the trains in France strike, dog droppings, and the waiter who does not smile. These behaviors are often very dangerous in a couple, even if one is aware of the limits of his country, we do not receive lessons from a étranger. Et toute tentative de mettre une hiérarchie entre les deux pays sera vite vue comme la volonté de mettre la même hiérarchie dans le couple. Il convient en particulier d’être très prudent sur les informations que l’on recueille sur le pays de son conjoint dans les forums internets, blogs, et sites spécialités pour les expatriés : il existe, en particulier sur les sites occidentaux, des interprétations discutables de la vie au Japon, avec souvent des raccourcis très hatifs. Certains faits divers rares sont parfois interprêtés comme des évènements normaux.
Il est beaucoup plus sage de proclamer une fois pour toute l’égalité entre deux pays au living standards also quite comparable. This does not of course have fun with affection and humor to the typical foibles of one country or another, and even rejoice to be confronted, because it is part of the charm of the trip: a brasserie Paris needs a server a little rough, like a Japanese train line needs a little red flag officer at the end of the dock to make the experience complete.
It is also essential to respect the efforts of the Joint uprooted to adapt to his new life: it is never an easy experience, and there will necessarily flicks of blues. These are excellent times to prove his devotion to her husband by giving him comfort and listening. On the contrary, if the person feels that his difficulty the blues is seen by his spouse as an obstacle that prevents it from watching the soccer game or go out with her friends at the last restaurant's fashionable Daikanyama, it does reinforce not mutual affection.
The place of life
A relationship is made trust between spouses, but also the choice of a shared way of life acceptable to both people. In the above case, the difficulties are more important: the choice of place of residence often want to say one partner sacrifices his career. At least one spouse will be away from his family, products and culture of his country. Internet allows free calls and access to newspapers in the country of origin, but this does not solve everything. He must have lived several years abroad to understand this strong need for a dish which we are accustomed since childhood and found on the spot: despite the excellent Japanese food, after a year without returning to France, I willingly exchanged a diamond against a good Lyon sausages. I think So it is important to discuss with your spouse the kind of life that we consider for the future, move to another country is never a trivial matter, and often the spouse who "play at home" will not realize the difficulties, especially if he has ever attempted to integrate into the world. A good compromise is probably the project of living, according to the circumstances in one country or another. This reduces the pressure on the expatriate spouse to adapt at all costs. And expatriation will be much easier if the spouse concerned at the base, an interest in the country where he will live.
A relationship is made trust between spouses, but also the choice of a shared way of life acceptable to both people. In the above case, the difficulties are more important: the choice of place of residence often want to say one partner sacrifices his career. At least one spouse will be away from his family, products and culture of his country. Internet allows free calls and access to newspapers in the country of origin, but this does not solve everything. He must have lived several years abroad to understand this strong need for a dish which we are accustomed since childhood and found on the spot: despite the excellent Japanese food, after a year without returning to France, I willingly exchanged a diamond against a good Lyon sausages. I think So it is important to discuss with your spouse the kind of life that we consider for the future, move to another country is never a trivial matter, and often the spouse who "play at home" will not realize the difficulties, especially if he has ever attempted to integrate into the world. A good compromise is probably the project of living, according to the circumstances in one country or another. This reduces the pressure on the expatriate spouse to adapt at all costs. And expatriation will be much easier if the spouse concerned at the base, an interest in the country where he will live.
Japan is a very urban. It certainly has drawbacks, trains crowded with cramped apartments. However, these cities are also very much alive with shops open all hours, entertainment and various cultural activities, restaurants and often many excellent shops at the forefront of fashion, all this is available at some subway stations. If a Japanese large cities (Tokyo, Osaka-Kobe-Kyoto, but Nagoya, Hiroshima or Fukuoka same) comes to France he often found the same activity as in Paris, and perhaps marginally in Marseille Lyon and Toulouse. Installation in a provincial town may be a shock for some Japanese. It may be even more true in the U.S., where the lives of "suburbs" is so far from that of Japan, despite a great comfort.
Money
A return to the country will cost more than a thousand euros for the joint away from his family, and it can often be organized as far in advance. Local products and books in the mother tongue will be harder to find and often expensive. It is so unusual to pay between 10 and 15 Euros for a Japanese magazine in Paris, and it will be found even in major provincial cities. The Japanese who settled in France are also accustomed to safe neighborhoods, clean and high quality service. They often adapt better to the pleasant neighborhoods of downtown as banlieues, and enjoy the upscale shops. In the other direction, a French accustomed to the quality of life of the French province will feel probably more comfortable in cozy neighborhoods of Tokyo. All of this is that some will do much to ease financial integration. Especially since many young Japanese still live with their parents and use their wages (often around 1500 Euros) as pocket money if they go abroad, unless they or their spouses have been an exceptional situation, their purchasing power will be significantly reduced. It is highly recommended to estimate the couple's financial situation, and lifestyle that can be done, and to share it before taking irreversible decisions, such as a facility in France or Japan.
A return to the country will cost more than a thousand euros for the joint away from his family, and it can often be organized as far in advance. Local products and books in the mother tongue will be harder to find and often expensive. It is so unusual to pay between 10 and 15 Euros for a Japanese magazine in Paris, and it will be found even in major provincial cities. The Japanese who settled in France are also accustomed to safe neighborhoods, clean and high quality service. They often adapt better to the pleasant neighborhoods of downtown as banlieues, and enjoy the upscale shops. In the other direction, a French accustomed to the quality of life of the French province will feel probably more comfortable in cozy neighborhoods of Tokyo. All of this is that some will do much to ease financial integration. Especially since many young Japanese still live with their parents and use their wages (often around 1500 Euros) as pocket money if they go abroad, unless they or their spouses have been an exceptional situation, their purchasing power will be significantly reduced. It is highly recommended to estimate the couple's financial situation, and lifestyle that can be done, and to share it before taking irreversible decisions, such as a facility in France or Japan.
Some practical details, like the combination of pensions from both countries should be studied in detail. A double contribution was indeed extremely costly, and could represent 20% less purchasing power. Since the pension agreement between France and Japan signed in 2005 and came into effect in 2007, the situation is simpler. Job opportunities in Japan for Europeans, however, must be studied with realistic: Even with a working framework for a multinational in Europe, it is not always possible to find a good position in the Japanese subsidiary of the group. And it's the best case: many foreigners can not claim that low paid and precarious position of professor of conversation. It's probably a good second income in a couple but very fair to maintain a family.
Marriage
Whatever one thinks of couples in long-course that refuse to marry, French and Japanese laws on immigration are often such that it is becoming mandatory at a time to marry to be able to live together. In some cases, only the tourist visa (3 months, renewable every six months in France) is available to non-married spouse to visit. This is not the only reason a spouse who is leaving his country can feel more comfortable if they have legal certainty in relation to the couple. In addition, common law did not enter the mores in Japan. The wedding will be an almost obligatory step, and maybe it will happen sooner than we would ideally like. It is very rare that cons Japanese families accept a marriage when European man was still a student, because they believe that situation has not and can not provide adequately for the new home. Similarly, Japanese girls often want to work a few years in Japan after completing their education before marrying and possibly to follow their husbands at home. Some also believe that families are more accepting of their spouses children when they approach their thirties because they think it's perhaps the last chance to "marry in time," and they are more ready to accept the sacrifices of the situation. All this means that couples with a higher education seem to make this step easier after 25 years before. It is moreover not specific to mixed couples.
Whatever one thinks of couples in long-course that refuse to marry, French and Japanese laws on immigration are often such that it is becoming mandatory at a time to marry to be able to live together. In some cases, only the tourist visa (3 months, renewable every six months in France) is available to non-married spouse to visit. This is not the only reason a spouse who is leaving his country can feel more comfortable if they have legal certainty in relation to the couple. In addition, common law did not enter the mores in Japan. The wedding will be an almost obligatory step, and maybe it will happen sooner than we would ideally like. It is very rare that cons Japanese families accept a marriage when European man was still a student, because they believe that situation has not and can not provide adequately for the new home. Similarly, Japanese girls often want to work a few years in Japan after completing their education before marrying and possibly to follow their husbands at home. Some also believe that families are more accepting of their spouses children when they approach their thirties because they think it's perhaps the last chance to "marry in time," and they are more ready to accept the sacrifices of the situation. All this means that couples with a higher education seem to make this step easier after 25 years before. It is moreover not specific to mixed couples.
Languages
Between writing terrifying and absurd grammar, Japanese and French are among the most complicated languages to learn. Some international couples begin to speak in English, others in French or Japanese, one spouse has learned during his studies. The truth is that learning a language as an adult and working life is difficult for many. But it is a joint effort to which the non-bilingual must pay the utmost importance: only a reasonable mastery of the language of the spouse for both partners enables good communication with their respective families, and it certainly helps to integrate into each countries. When you have an intense professional life, there is often not the courage to plunge about 10 pm in a list of kanji or conjugations of the third group. A small sabbatical leave of 3 or 6 months for study in the country language the spouse may be a good idea.
Between writing terrifying and absurd grammar, Japanese and French are among the most complicated languages to learn. Some international couples begin to speak in English, others in French or Japanese, one spouse has learned during his studies. The truth is that learning a language as an adult and working life is difficult for many. But it is a joint effort to which the non-bilingual must pay the utmost importance: only a reasonable mastery of the language of the spouse for both partners enables good communication with their respective families, and it certainly helps to integrate into each countries. When you have an intense professional life, there is often not the courage to plunge about 10 pm in a list of kanji or conjugations of the third group. A small sabbatical leave of 3 or 6 months for study in the country language the spouse may be a good idea.
differences in lifestyle
Some explain the difficulties of international couples to differences in complex cultures, associated with very different philosophies between paganism and Christianity. That may be true, but I think that we should not neglect the more practical aspects of differences in lifestyles. You have to decide if we remove shoes at home (Japanese style) or if they are kept (French fashion). The shower is also in the evening (in Japan) or morning (in France). Japanese women return to their family for the end of their pregnancy, while they remain in the marital home in France. Eating habits are also different. Women manage the money the couple all alone in Japan, so it's more a common decision in France. Holidays are short and luxury in Japan, so they are long and often en famille in the country for a month in France. Races are run every day in Japan, so we went to the supermarket to the cart week in France. Good beef is lean in France as she is fat in Japan. Finally, perhaps most importantly, the Japanese do not like the unexpected, and appreciate that a timetable be set in advance, but cancellations and delays on the day. This last point seems to be one of those that are maddening as spouses of Japanese français.Tous these subjects are of varying importance that we need to find a common way of life, which in some respects, surprisingly one of the spouses. Again, a compromise is probably the best solution, it is preferable to talk about the most sensitive issues before a permanent settlement.
Some explain the difficulties of international couples to differences in complex cultures, associated with very different philosophies between paganism and Christianity. That may be true, but I think that we should not neglect the more practical aspects of differences in lifestyles. You have to decide if we remove shoes at home (Japanese style) or if they are kept (French fashion). The shower is also in the evening (in Japan) or morning (in France). Japanese women return to their family for the end of their pregnancy, while they remain in the marital home in France. Eating habits are also different. Women manage the money the couple all alone in Japan, so it's more a common decision in France. Holidays are short and luxury in Japan, so they are long and often en famille in the country for a month in France. Races are run every day in Japan, so we went to the supermarket to the cart week in France. Good beef is lean in France as she is fat in Japan. Finally, perhaps most importantly, the Japanese do not like the unexpected, and appreciate that a timetable be set in advance, but cancellations and delays on the day. This last point seems to be one of those that are maddening as spouses of Japanese français.Tous these subjects are of varying importance that we need to find a common way of life, which in some respects, surprisingly one of the spouses. Again, a compromise is probably the best solution, it is preferable to talk about the most sensitive issues before a permanent settlement.
These lines may have convinced a couple internationally is not trivial. Share another culture is a great experience, but the constraints generated are also important. An open and frank dialogue is essential to the success of the couple. This will anticipate problems to overcome them and establish a compromise acceptable to both spouses.
Useful
This excellent blog post "The river duck" explains the pension agreement signed between France and Japan.
Previous papers of this blog dealing with couples in Japan , of administrative procedures for the arrival of a Japanese spouse in France, and expatriate life in Japan .
I propose to complete my book with your experiences. I enrich it as and when the best contributions with comments.
This excellent blog post "The river duck" explains the pension agreement signed between France and Japan.
Previous papers of this blog dealing with couples in Japan , of administrative procedures for the arrival of a Japanese spouse in France, and expatriate life in Japan .
I propose to complete my book with your experiences. I enrich it as and when the best contributions with comments.
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